Wednesday, January 9, 2013


The Naive Artist was inspiried by a road trip I was taking with my playwright friend, Lanford Wilson, in 1991. Lanford was a brilliant eccentric, and was a huge collector of Outsider art. In Memphis, we looked up this African-American artist in the phone book, and drove into the hinterlands of Memphis, eventually finding him painting in a friend's auto garage. The characters were inspired by Lanford and Joe, the rest of the story is fiction. 

Road 2 - THE NAIVE ARTIST
   

    A large garage in a lower income section of Memphis, Tennessee. The
    place is packed with collected junk of every shape and size. A torn,
    leather covered executive chair is framed by the junk like a poor man's
    thrown. There are also a few battered, straight-backed chairs, and
    perhaps a dozen small, unframed paintings.
   
    By far the most prominent and interesting items are six pieces of art
    work: Large paintings roughly drawn on pieces of scrap metal, wood, and
    filing cabinets. Half depict a vagabond travelling through a a
    simplistically painted country side. The other half are primative
    looking, hemaphrodidic figures with drooping breats and great erect
    penises sticking off to the side. A seventh piece of art work rests on a
    straight back chair, facing upstage at a diagonal and not visible to the
    audience.
   
    As the curtain rises, BYRON MEDA, 50's, is seated in a straight back
    chair, staring at this seventh work of art. He gazes at it for ten
    seconds before JOE LEEVES, 50's, enters, carrying three paint brushes
    and an old metal garbage can lid.
   
    Byron immediately switches his attention to Joe.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Hi!
   
                                       JOE
                        Hi.
   
    Joe is tall and broad; a shy, humble, yet enormously warm man with 
    interesting features.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I saw your... "whatever", out front.
                        The car fender.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        It's wild.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
    Joe's "Oh, yeahs" can convey many things, including nothing at all, but
    it always is encouraging, as if he enjoys conversation though he doesn't
    like to particiapte.

                                  BYRON
                             (pointing to the seventh piece)
                        This is remarkable... It all is.
                        Every one.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, well... yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Is it alright that I stopped in?
                        I realize this is probably your
                        place of business.
   
                                       JOE
                        No, it's all right.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I'm Byron Meda.
   
    He offers his hand, they shake.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah. Hi...
   
                                      BYRON
                        It's a great pleasure to meet
                        you, Mr. Leeves.
   
    Joe reacts, uncomfortable. He doesn't know how this man knows him,
    and Byron sees this.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (continued)
                        Joe Leeves... It's signed on your
                        paintings.
    
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.... You down visiting Memphis?
   
                                      BYRON
                        Yes. I'm from Sag Harbor... Long Island...
                        on vacation.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah. Good.
   
    Joe sits in his chair.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Do you do this just for fun?
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, no, I'm....

                                         BYRON
                        You're commercial?
   
                                       JOE
                        Yeah, I'm commercial. Mr. Phil sells
                        things for me.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Who's Phil?
   

                                       JOE
                        Phil Arnold. He's an art dealer.
   
                                      BYRON
                        That figures... Well, I hope he
                        pays you.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Pays you a fair price. I've heard
                        stories about art dealers.
   
                                       JOE
                        Are you an art dealer--... What's...?
   

                                      BYRON
                        Byron.
   
                                       JOE
                        Byron? Are you an art--
   
                                      BYRON
                        It was my great grandfather's name.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
    Byron points at one of the hemaphrodites painted on a filing cabinet; at
    its penis, actually, which is its most prominent feature.
   
                                      BYRON
                        This is something.
   
                                       JOE
                        Umm-hmm.
   
                                      BYRON
                        What is this? Sort of a...?
   
                                       JOE
                        Mr. Phil call that a "He-She".

                                      BYRON
                        A He-She? That's marvelous.
   
                                       JOE
                        He come in, and was saying, "Joe, what
                        the hell is this?" You know? And
                        he said, it's a "He-she".
   
                                      BYRON
                        A hemaphrodite.
   
                                       JOE
                        Huh? Yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        He didn't like it?
   

                                       JOE
                        Oh, no. He liked it.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I think it's terrific....
                        This is different.
   
    Byron's tone indicates he is not so excited about one of the small
    paintings leaning against the wall.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh. That's my wife's.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Your wife? She paints?
   
                                       JOE
                        She started. So did my son. That's
                        his, there. And those two.
   
    Byron looks at the son's paintings. He is unimpressed, but polite.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Hmm. He likes planes.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Kinda cute.
   
                                       JOE
                        You like it?

                                                                        BYRON
                                     No.

                                                                        JOE
                              No, Mr. Phil ain't come around to them, neither.
   
    Byron is back to the seventh piece.

                                      BYRON
                        Is this your latest?
   
                                       JOE
                        No. This is.

     Joe shows him a simple landscape painted on a trash can lid. Byron
     is clearly unimpressed.

                                                                        BYRON
                                                      Mm, just a landscape.

                                                                        JOE
                                        Oh, yeah. Folks seem to like it when I
                                        paint junk. On it.

                                                                        BYRON
                                         Folks do?

                                                                        JOE
                                         So I been painting on junk a lot now.

                                                                        BYRON
                                         Uh-huh.
                                                      (regarding seventh piece)
                                         What about this?

                                                                        JOE
                                         I don’t show that one.

                                                                        BYRON
                                         Saving it?

                                                                        JOE
                                         Hiding it. It’s uh--... one I did right before I
                                         met Mr. Phil.

                                                      BYRON
                                          He hasn’t seen it?

                                                                        JOE
                                          I don’t show folks.

                                      BYRON
                        Hm. What does this kind of thing sell for?
   
                                       JOE
                        I don't know, really. Another fellow
                        Mr. Phil buys from say he was selling
                        his stuff for five-- ten thousand
                        dollars.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Who?
   
                                       JOE
                        A fellow down Birmingham.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Burgess Granville? No, not that
                        much. Maybe one or two exceptional
                        pieces.
   
                                       JOE
                        You know Burgess?
   
                                      BYRON
                        I've met him once.
   
    Byron senses Joe's heightened suspicion.
   
                                          BYRON
                             (continued)
                        I'm a collector.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, you are.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Yes. Just private, for my own
                        appreciation.
   
                                       JOE
                        Uh-huh.
   
                                      BYRON
                        What does this Phil pay you?
   
                                       JOE
                                                      (proudly)
                        He pays me by the week.
   

                                      BYRON
                        What? Eight hundred?
   
                                       JOE
                                                      (somewhat deflated)
                        Three hundred and fifty dollars.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Uh-huh.... That kills me. I'm sorry,
                        but that's just not right. I'm sure
                        he sells your work for much more.
   
                                       JOE
                        You know Mr. Phil?
   
                                      BYRON
                        Everyone knows Phil Arnold. He does
                        this with a lot of artists. He doesn't
                        even discover them, he just moves in
                        later, buys them out.
   
                                       JOE
                        Yeah... He's been very good, though...
                        til lately.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (probing)
                        What?
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, well... It's his wife I have
                        trouble with. She ain't been
                        sending the checks on time.
                        She got something against me,
                        I think.

                                     BYRON
                        Why?
   
                                       JOE
                        Well, I talked to some others that
                        he give money to-- Mr. Phil--
                        and they say they're getting their
                        checks on time. She the one writes
                        the checks.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Oh, that's ridiculous. I'm sorry, but
                        that's just a front.
   
                                       JOE
                        Well....
   
                                      BYRON
                        She does whatever Phil tells her to do.
   
                                       JOE
                        Well, I know.... Mr. Phil's supposed
                        to build us a swimming pool, and
                        I asked her, she said the market's
                        soft right now, and they can't
                        afford it.

                                        BYRON
                             (harshly)
                        That's ridiculous.
                             (pause; softer)
                        Of course, it's all speculative.
                        Naive art.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        It might all be worth nothing to
                        Phil. He could end up with a warehouse
                        full of junk.
   
                                       JOE
                             (worried; a little hurt)
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        But I don't think that will be the case
                        with you.... Three hundred and fifty
                        is not enough.
   
                                       JOE
                        You know, it's not just me. I got
                        a family.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Sure. A large family from the looks
                        of it.
   
                                       JOE
                        Eleven of us. But half are my sister's
                        family that moved in.... How'd you know?
   
                                      BYRON
                        What...? About your family?
                             (Joe nods)
                        Oh, I drove by.
                             (Joe looks at him suspiciously)
                        I saw the environment you'd created
                        in the front yard and stopped. Your
                        wife directed me here.
   
                                       JOE
                        Why would you be driving in my
                        neighborhood, down my street?
   
                                      BYRON
                        Oh, I was--.... Well, I'd looked up
                        your name in the phone book.
                        I figured as long as I was in Memphis...
                        You know, there are several prominent
                        naive artists in this area. Untrained,
                        like yourself.
   
                                       JOE
                        You're a collector?
   
                                      BYRON
                        Yeah. I told you that...
                        I love outsider art.
   
                                       JOE
                        You buy a lot?
   
                                      BYRON
                        Well... You know, I guess I own about
                        three hundred pieces. Including one
                        of yours. An early one. The one
                        of Christ, he's walking through a desert,
                        which I assume is Golgotha....
   
                                       JOE
                        I don't recall that exactly, but...
   
                                      BYRON
                        It's very much like the black Christ
                        marching down the beach.
   
        Joe reacts, realizing something.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh. Uh-huh.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Mine's an early one; ‘92.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.
   
                                      BYRON
                        It just kills me that Phil Arnold is
                        the only one who can buy your work.
   
                                       JOE
                        Well, there was a lady come in--
                        this is after I'd been having trouble
                        with Mr. Arnold's wife-- you know,
                        this lady helped me along with some money.
                        And then, next week, she help me
                        out with some more, and, you know,
                        I want to do something nice for her.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Sure.
   
                                       JOE
                        Yeah. So I gave her something.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (perks up)
                        Oh, really?
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah. But Mr. Phil come in and
                        he got real angry. He say that lady
                        was just trying to get a piece of my art.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (perks down)
                        Uh-huh.
   
                                       JOE
                        Sometimes, it all be too much.
                                          Too much of everything but the painting,
                                          you know? That’s what I liked.


                                                                        BYRON
                                          The art?

                                                                        JOE
                                           The art, uh-huh. Mr. Phil always brag
                                           he discovered me. Times I wish he would
                                          undiscover me, but I need the money now.
                                          Didn’t use to, now I do.

                                      BYRON
                                          It ruins people like you. Fame.

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (chuckles)
                                          Oh, I ain’t got that.

                                                                        BYRON
                                          I wish I were a rich man. Still
                                          a rich man. It’s all on my walls now.

                                                                        JOE
                                           Oh. Uh-huh. Well, you just sell that.

                                                                        BYRON
                                          I never sell anything. I can’t.
                                           The way you need to do your art,
                                           I need to have it.
                                                                           
                                       JOE
                        Well.... You know, his wife ain't
                        been paying me on time. She been
                        making me feel real low.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (re: seventh piece)
                        And Phil hasn’t this yet?
   
                                       JOE
                        No, sir.
   
    Long pause. Byron takes out a huge wad of cash.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I have thirty-five hundred dollars.
                             (pause)
                        Phil would never know. It would go
                        right up on the wall in my bedroom.
   
                                        JOE
                        You see the show in New York?
   
                                      BYRON
                        What show?
   
                                       JOE
                        My show in New York?
   
                                      BYRON
                        I didn't know you had a show in New York.
   
                                       JOE
                        That's the only way you
                        seen black Christ on the beach.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I must have seen it in an art magazine.
   
                                       JOE
                        No. It went from here to New York
                        with Mr. Phil.
   
                                      BYRON
                        When did your show open?
   
                                       JOE
                        Supposed to open October 27th.
   
                                      BYRON
                        That's yesterday. How could I?...
                        We must be talking about a different
                        painting.
                             (pause)
                        I'll write you a check for another six hundred.
                        That'll wipe me out.  I might be able
                                          to get an increase on my credit limit,
                                          if you can wait.
   
                                       JOE
                        The money don’t bother me, it’s your lying.
   
                                      BYRON
                             (pause)
                        I saw the show. I flew down this
                        morning to find you.
   
                                       JOE
                        So you come down here try
                        to get me in trouble with Mr. Phil.
   
                                      BYRON
                        No.
   
                                       JOE
                        See, that's too much. Coming in my
                        garage, act like you someone else,
                        being friendly--
   
                                      BYRON
                        I wasn't. I was coming to warn you
                        about Phil Arnold.
   
                                       JOE
                        I ain't stupid, you understand?
   
                                      BYRON
                        I wanted to meet you. I wanted to
                        get here before Phil did.
   
                                       JOE
                        Why? You just like him.
                                                                        BYRON
                             (re: seventh piece)
                        I'm not. But when I saw this, I had to have it.

                                                                        JOE
                                          Why?

                                                                        BYRON
                                          It’s a masterpiece, Mr. Leeves. And I’ll never
                                          be able to afford it, not from Phil.
   
                                       JOE
                        That don't make sense to me. What
                        you did. I love what I do, you know,
                        makes me feel good, but all that lying
                        and messing with people over money--

                                                                        BYRON
                                          You were doing it as well, Joe. Black Christ
                                          on the beach? You’ve known I’ve been lying,
                                          and said nothing... It’s something
                                          I’d worry about... if I were you.

                                                                        JOE
                                         I just trying to be smart.

                                                                        BYRON
                                         Uh-huh.

                                                                        JOE
                                                                              (a bit flustered)
                                          I used to-- Before Mr. Phil-- I--....
                                          I don’t think you know what art is.

                                                                        BYRON
                                         No, I do. I can spot it, critique it, covet it,
                                         understand and be moved by it...
                                         I just can’t--...
                                                            (pause)
                                         You’re a genius, Mr. Leeves. Do you know that?

                                                                        JOE
                                          Oh, uh.... I thought “maybe” a few times, I guess.  

                                                                        BYRON                    
                        Phil is going to make you sign a contract.
   
                                       JOE
                        He don't believe in contracts.
   
                                      BYRON
                        That's so he can dump you without
                        obligation. That was before New York.
                        I'm just telling you, don't sign it.
   
                                       JOE
                        You may be lying again.
   
                                      BYRON
                        The first day, Phil sold everything he had on display.
                        Your best work. This morning, he doubled
                        the prices. He’s selling  the leftovers right now.
       
                                       JOE
                        Oh.
   
                                      BYRON
                        I wanted to get here before Phil
                        fucked you over.
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah.  
                                        
                                      BYRON
                        You're going to be a very rich
                        man, Mr. Leeves.
                                                                        (hands him a note)
                                          Here’s a lawyer in New York.
                                          You can trust him, I’m told.
   
                                       JOE
                        Okay.
                                                                        (pause/unsure)
                                          Thank you?
   
                                      BYRON
                        No.
                             (looks at seventh piece, smiles, almost laughs with delight)
                        This is beyond anything in your collection.
                       
                                       JOE
                        Oh, yeah. I like it.
   
                                      BYRON
                        Magnificent.

                                                                        JOE
                                          I guess... I guess if you want it bad like that...
                                          How much?

                                                                        BYRON
                                          No. Let me buy this.

    Byron picks up the trash can lid.

                                                                        JOE
                                          Oh, yeah. Okay. So you do like it?

                                                                        BYRON
                                           I’ll give you twenty dollars. I want
                                           to put it back where you
                                           found it....

    Byron tosses it aside.

                                                                        BYRON (cont’d)
                                          You understand, Mr. Leeves?

                                                                        JOE
                                                           (he does, but...)
                                           I can’t figure you folks out sometimes.

                                                                        BYRON
                                                      That’s all right, Joe. Just be careful
                                                      you don’t become us folks.
   
    Byron smiles, returns to seventh piece. Both men gaze at it.

                                                                        BYRON
                                                      This is mystical, Mr. Leeves.
                                                                 (pause)
                                                  What is it?
   
    Both men gaze at the painting. Joe is embarrassed to reveal it:
   
                                       JOE
                        Oh, uh...
                             (pause)
                        That's me.

   Lights fade.

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