Monday, January 28, 2013

In the business, theaters always like to have an evening of connected one-acts with a certain theme. For American Road, I went a bit further and had the central characters "in crisis on the road" intersect in the final scene which leaves us with hope for their futures. Here it is! Next week, some comic relief as I will begin with WHAT IS ART?, a farce.


American Road


A snack bar in the Memphis Airport. Joe, wearing a suit and looking uncomfortable and awkward in it, sits at a table. He is perspiring heavily. A piece of his art, wrapped in a canvas tarp, leans against it.

Tim sits at the next table, studying a two page script, mouthing lines. Joe stares at something which would be located just above the audience’s head. Tim will glance up at now and then.

Dick enters, head phones on, carrying a Sony Walkman, some papers (the letters) and a large carry on. He is apparently having trouble getting the Walkman to work.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (mutters)
                                                      Jesus....

Dick sees Joe look over at him.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (sharing his trouble with Joe)
                                                      Goddamn thing...

Dick is having difficulty handling everything while standing up, nods toward the vacant seat at Joe’s table.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Do you mind?

Joe is broken from his thoughts, a bit disoriented.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, uh... no.

Dick sits, sets down his bag, the letters, puts headphones around his neck, sets down Walkman and  pulls out a pack of smokes and prepares to light up.

                                                                        P.A. ANNOUNCER
                                                      Memphis International Airport is
                                                      a smoke free facility. Please refrain
                                                      from smoking, except in designated areas.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Is this a designated area?

Joe shrugs. Dick turns to ask Tim.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Excu-- Jesus!

A pain shoots through Dick’s back, he grunts and grimaces.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You okay?

Dick reaches behind to rub his upper back.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      I’ve pulled a muscle or something.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I think you have to go to the bar.
                                                                        (Dick looks confused)
                                                      To smoke.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      The bar? Oh... Better not.

Dick puts away cigarettes and takes some papers from the side pocket of his carry on. He separates the papers-- four pages in one hand, and a single page in the other, and looks at each, weighing them in his mind. Shaking his head to himself, he puts the papers down and allows his attention to be caught by whatever Joe is staring at.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      So who’s winning?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Winning? Oh, uhm...
                                                                        (shrugs)

                                                                        TIM
                                                      The Ravens.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      The Ravens is a team?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Used to be the Cleveland Browns.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Jesus,  first is was the Colts, then
                                                      the Cardinals.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      The Rams.

                                                                        DICK                                                     
                                                      Where do you hang your hat anymore?
                                                                        (turns to Joe)
                                                      You know?

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (smiles politely)
                                                      Yes, sir.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (to Joe)
                                                      Did you pull an O.J.?
                                                                        (Joe looks unsure)
                                                      I mean the commercials,
                                                      where he’s running through the airport,
                                                      jumping things....
                                                                        (aside)
                                                      Jesus--
                                                                        (back to Joe)
                                                      Jumping over things. You’re sweating is what I’m saying.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah. No, I just perspire.

Joe pulls a handkerchief out and mops his face and brow.                                                     
                                                                       
                                                                        DICK
                                                      Where are you headed?

Joe grows anxious again.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      New York.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Me, too. Buffalo. You live in New York?


                                                                        JOE
                                                      No, here.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Business?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      T.V. show. I’m--....
                                                      They gonna interview me.

This gets Tim’s attention.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, hey, that’s nice!

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (embarrassed)
                                                      I do art.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh. Is this yours?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Uh-huh.

Dick tries to look as if curious. Joe uncovers it for him-- it is the “He-She” painting.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      They call it “outsider” art.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (trying)
                                                      Ohh, hey!.... That’s something....
                                                      Good. Wow.

Tim is also looking, and really does have a strong reaction. Joe recovers the art work.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Are you excited?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah.

But Joe sure doesn’t look excited. Dick turns to to Tim.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      What about you--?
                                                                        (more pain)
                                                     
                                                                        TIM
                                                      Los Angeles.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, Christ! You can have it.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You’re about the tenth person--

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Believe ‘em. My daughter lives there.
                                                      I was there last night. Worst concert the Dead
                                                      ever did.  I hated it.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Yeah. No one likes L.A.,
                                                      but eight million people live there.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Well, I won’t be back.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You like Buffalo better?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      How can you like Buffalo?

                                                                        TIM
                                                                        (smiles)
                                                      I figure when it’s my time, I’ll
                                                      retire to Florida.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, yeah? God, Jerry played the O-rena.
                                                      Orlando, it goes on forever for
                                                      no reason..
                                                                        (Tim laughs)
                                                      I kid you not, two hours fifteen
                                                      minutes I drove in a straight line
                                                      without losing sight of a strip mall.

Dick laughs and then coughs, which aggravates his back. He reaches back to rub it.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Jesus, that flight from LAX.
                                                                        (smacks Walkman lightly)
                                                      This thing went ker-flooey. I’ve
                                                      had nothing.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Probably the batteries.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      The batteries aren’t that old, it just
                                                      stopped working. I drug six Dead CD’s
                                                      across the country for nothing.

Dick turns his upper body from side to side, trying to alleviate the pain.

                                                                       
                                                                        TIM
                                                      You hurt your back?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yeah.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      My Dad had a bad back.
                                                      I know how much--

                                                                        DICK
                                                      It’s just a knot, but it’s right where I
                                                      can’t reach it.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You need someone to--?

Dick isn’t clear. Tim illustrates “massage”.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      You’re a massusse?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I’m an actor. But in the theater dorm,
                                                      you didn’t get laid if you couldn’t
                                                      give a good...
                                                                       
                                                                        DICK
                                                      I think I’m okay for now. Thanks.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Sure.... I’m auditioning for a pilot.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (tries to hide concern)
                                                      They do that, with these
                                                      big planes?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      A pilot for a series. In L.A.
                                                      It’s a cop role.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, right. A movie.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      The principle at Deana’s school-- this
                                                      teacher in Maine-- had a brother who’s a T.V. producer.
                                                      I mean, “the strangest places”.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yeah, Maine is strange. It’s like they’re
                                                      still waiting for Paul Revere to ride through
                                                      and tell ‘em what’s going on.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      No, I mean, that this first grade teacher
                                                      would be my connection to Hollywood.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      That’s strange, too. Alright, I’m gonna
                                                      have to ask ya. This is just killing me,
                                                      I can’t take a two hour plane flight
                                                      in coach.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Oh, yeah, sure.

Tim pulls a chair up behind Dick’s and begins massaging Dick’s neck.


                                                                        DICK
                                                      Now, if a girl shows up, stop.

                                                                        TIM
                                                                        (smiles)
                                                      Gotcha... Here?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Lower.

Tim moves to the area between Dick’s shoulder blades. Dick looks over his letters, one page in one hand, four in the other.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (referring to letter)
                                                      Jesus.
                                                                        (to Tim)
                                                      Hey, do you get along with your parents?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Yeah.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Really?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I’ve seen them once in two years.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh. I hear ya... I wrote this letter
                                                      on the plane-- two, really-- to
                                                      my daughter. We’ve been, uhm--...
                                                                        (makes “waivering” gesture)
                                                      So anyway, this one is pretty much
                                                      an apology for--... Well, it’s four pages long. Okay?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Okay.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      This one is not so apologetic...
                                                      It’s shorter. More critical.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      It’s a “fuck you” letter.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yes.
                                                                                                                             
                                                                        JOE
                                                      What you looking for?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      What?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      From your daughter.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (beat)
                                                      Just so she understands things.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Well, you write both... Maybe you
                                                      should send both.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Hm. Ah, Christ, I’ll figure it out
                                                      when I get back to Buffalo.
                                                     
                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah.... You been to New York City before?

                                                                        DICK/TIM
                                                      Some/Yeah, six years.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Have you?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, no. I’m just wondering what it
                                                      might be like. I been all my life
                                                      in Memphis.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      My mother’s family’s from here.
                                                      Near here. Dyersburg.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah. I been there.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Not me.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      That the spot?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yes. Deeper, though.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Are you gonna see some shows on Broadway?

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (an anxiety raising thought)
                                                      Oh, no. No, I think I’m just gonna go up and
                                                      come back.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You’re going all that way just for this
                                                      interview?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Hm, I have a check to pick up, too.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      They can’t mail it to you?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Mr. Hyram, my attorney, say it’s too big to mail.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Too big? How big could it be?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      It’s big.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      How big?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Big.



                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (shrugs, a bit put off)
                                                      Okay.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Three hundred twenty-four thousand,
                                                      four hundred seven dollars.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh.

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (checks a note)
                                                      And seventeen cents.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Man.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Hey, a New York artist and Hollywood movie star.
                                                      I feel priveleged.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, no.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I’m just auditioning.... And seeing my wife.
                                                      She’s been stage managing a long running
                                                      show out there.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (twists to look at Tim)
                                                      Oh! A happy reunion.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Something’s going to happen.
                                                      One way or the other.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      I hear ya... Well, not that it’s my business,
                                                      but... Don’t let it slide. You know what I mean?

                                                                        TIM
                                                                        (earnest)
                                                      Oh, yeah. I’ve become an expert slider.

Dick turns back, looks at his letters again.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      One thing I’ve learned-- the important things--
                                                      you don’t let ‘em slide.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Yep.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Eh, the Hell with it,  I probably shouldn’t send
                                                      either of these.
                                                                        (to Joe)
                                                      You know? I got it off my chest,
                                                      is what matters. This would just upset her.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Father and daughter, I think you both know what
                                                      the other has to say by now.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Exactly.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      But that ain’t no use. She gotta hear
                                                      you say it.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (not what he was hoping for)
                                                      Oh. Uh-huh....
                                                                        (takes a breath)
                                                      Huh...

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I’m not really feeling a knot.
                                                      You sure it’s muscular?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Maybe it’s a pinched nerve.

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (reaches for his bag)
                                                      I got linament I put on my
                                                      shoulder.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (embarassed)
                                                      Oh, no, no, no.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      I tell ya, it’s good. I get tight when I work.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      No, no, this has been going on--
                                                      I don’t think it’ll help.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Pull the soreness right out for me.
                                                                        (illustrates)
                                                      When I paint...

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Once I’m home, I’m okay.
                                                      There’s certain ways I can
                                                      lie down.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, uh-huh. So you wanna try it?

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (pause)
                                                      Please.

Joe starts applying the linament to Dick’s back under his shirt.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (awkward, embarrassed)
                                                      Jesus, I feel like Cleopatra.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Cleopatra or a big dumb idiot.

Tim gets up, moves to Joe’s paintings.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Have you been painting all your life?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      No, I start five-six years ago.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      What made you start?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      I wanted to thank God. I got this feeling
                                                      I could paint something.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Jeez, I don’t know if
                                                       God goes for that sort of thing.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      No, it’s not what I expected.
                                                      But that’s what come out...

Joe finishes rubbing in the linament, wipes his hand off on his handkerchief.

                                                                                          JOE (cont’d)
                                                      They like it in New York now, that’s
                                                      got me worried.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Hey, have to go where your career takes you.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      But my art, see, it come from
                                                      some place. Memphis. I don’t know
                                                      if it come in New York and Mr. Hiram
                                                      say he want me to “take an apartment”.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Hey, I have no interest in L.A., either.
                                                      But you can’t pass these things up.
                                                                       
                                                                        JOE
                                                      Ain’t you afraid they’ll take your art?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Metaphorically?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      I don’t-- No, no, not--
                                                      I mean take your art. Just take it
                                                      so it don’t come no more.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Acting isn’t so much inspiration,
                                                      it’s technique.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah?

                                                                        TIM
                                                                        (hearing himself say it)
                                                      Yeah... usually.

                                                                       
Dick has a coughing fit.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      That doing any good for ya?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      No... Thanks, it was nice, though...

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (finds this difficult to suggest)
                                                      You know, my uncle was a Lucky Strike man...
                                                      Maybe you want to go to a doctor.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (trying to laugh it all off)
                                                      Oh, Jesus, let’s not start a war
                                                      over a sore back.
                                                      Christ, you and my daughter. “I’m not going
                                                      to come home to watch you die of cancer.”
                                                      Christ, what a thing-- Who asked her?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      She’ll come.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (not hearing)
                                                      Can we wait--? I mean, Geez, I could
                                                      get run over my a bus. I could live
                                                      to a hundred. I mean, Jesus.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      She come.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (anger shooting out)
                                                      I can’t stop now! She just has to--

                                                                        JOE
                                                      She come.
                                                                       
                                                                        DICK
                                                      No! She gets this letter--...

                                                                        JOE
                                                      She come, don’t matter what letter you send.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yeah?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Sure.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Family take care of ya. That’s right.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (pause)
                                                      I’m just very tired... Thank you...
                                                      Christ, I just met ya, and you’re
                                                      nicer to me than...                                   

                                                                                          JOE
                                                      Well... I feel like we all in Oz down here.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oz?

ANN, wearing a bright white “I Love L.A.” T-shirt over the same shorts and shoes, runs in holding a new paperback novel in one hand and a service revolver in the other. Her sandal flies off.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Shit!

She back tracks and grabs it, then rushes to Tim offers the gun first to Tim.

                                                                                          ANN
                                                      Take this, please!

Tim steps back, ANN turns to Dick.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I’m being chased, please!
                                                      Hide it!                 

                                                                        DICK
                                                      I work for the railroad.

Tim tries to slink away, ANN turns, unwittingly pointing the gun at him.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Don’t go out there!

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Okay!

Tim steps back to his table.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      There’s a garbage can.

Joe points, ANN whips the gun into the grabage can and ducks down behind Joe and Dick’s table. The three men look out at the terminal concourse (the audience) anxiously.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (hidden from view, sticks her head up)
                                                      Could you all act like I’m not here?

They all act casual.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Listen, I swear I didn’t do nothing.
                                                      I was at the ticket counter, and
                                                      it got out of hand... Is anyone coming?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Who we looking for?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      A security guy... with no gun.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      I see him. He’s talking to two other guys.
                                                      One’s on a cell phone.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      That’s a government IFC walkie-talkie.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I just wanted to change my ticket.
                                                      Motherfuckers.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      They’re looking!
                                                                        (immediately acting chummy)
                                                      Jesus Christ!

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (tries to play along)
                                                      Oh, yeah.

Dick smiles, slaps Tim on the back.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      I thought you were an actor?

Tim now acts chummy as well, laughs.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      They’re heading down termnal B.

Ann rises, but will stay aware, keeping an eye out, and concealing herself from view at times.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Thank you. That was nice of y’all to do.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      You’d better go while you can.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Go where? This was my connecting flight.
                                                      Could as well be Memphis in Egypt.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Where you trying to get to?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Not Texas.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Knot?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      N-O-T, as in any place but.... My brother
                                                      lives outside ‘a Lubbock.

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (confused)
                                                      And that’s where you want to go?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      No, that’s where my plane ticket goes.
                                                      I couldn’t afford Hawaii and
                                                      I got scared, so I booked myself back
                                                      to my  brother. I got 37,000
                                                      feet in the air and got some perspective.
                                                      My goddamn brother, if we talk to
                                                      Freud, is the one most responsible
                                                      for putting me in that parking
                                                      lot with Chuck, blowing truck drivers.

The three men are at a loss.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Yeah, they didn’t understand it at
                                                      the ticket counter either.  I said--
                                                                        (turns on Dick)
                                                       “Listen you tight assed bitch--!”

Dick flinches in surprise, which hurts his back.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      You all right?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Yeah.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I said, “Listen, you tight assed bitch, tell me
                                                      how it costs you seventy-five more dollars
                                                      to pull my butt out of one empty seat and put it in another.
                                                      That’s when Mr. Security Man decided
                                                      to “act” and escort me from the airport
                                                      and I shouldn’t a’ took                  his gun, but
                                                      I just saw myself stuck on my knees in the
                                                      parking lot of Graceland, and I went
                                                      ballistic.... My heart is just jumping.
                                                      I’m sorry to go on.... I am not this person.
                                                      Ya understand?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Yes, ma’am.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (fights back tears)
                                                      I really need you to be nice to me.

                                                                        TIM/JOE/DICK
                                                      Sure/Oh, yeah/Okay.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Can I get ya something to drink? Are you hungry?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      They served a snack on the plane.

Tim removes Dick’s vest, to put on Ann.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, Jesus. The freaking infamous snack.

Dick now realizes Tim has removed his vest.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Thank you. Whatever’s fine, and
                                                      some water.

Dick exits. Joe rises and gestures for Ann to take his seat. Tim gives her his sun glasses and Dick’s vest. Ann takes Joe’s hait and puts it on, keeping a watchful eye on the concourse. Tim checks the cash in his wallet.
                                                                       

                                                                        TIM
                                                      For seventy-five dollars
                                                      you could change your flight?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      No, I’m pretty sure they’ll throw me in jail
                                                      now, even if I’m polite.... Maybe that ain’t
                                                      a bad idea. Prison.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, no, ma’am.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I’m serious. It may be the thing to do.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      No, come on.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (looks at Tim, gets a long shot idea)
                                                      Where are you headed?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Me? Los Angeles.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (huffs)
                                                      You can have it.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      You ain’t told us where you trying to get.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Somewhere dry and cool.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      There’s a bed in my garage where
                                                      I work.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Your garage?

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (refers to painting)
                                                      Where I do my art.

Ann looks at painting, then gives Joe a dubious look.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Uh-huh.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      There’s a toilet and  a shower, too.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (gives him the once over)
                                                      No thanks.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      He doesn’t mean that.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      You two friends?

                                                                        TIM
                                                      No, I just met him.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      How do you know what he means?

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (embarrassed)
                                                      Oh, no, I don’t--
                                                                        (a small, nervous laugh)
                                                      I’m happily married with five kids. I got
                                                      every relative I know
                                                      living in my house, and more coming.
                                                      I’m buying a new house to put ‘em all in....
                                                      But I reckon you want some privacy.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (trying to figure him out)
                                                      Uh-huh. Why are you being nice to me?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      You say you need it.
                                                                       
Dick returns with a bagel with
cream cheese and a bottle of water.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Jesus Christ, four-twenty-five for bread
                                                      and water.

Dick sets the stuff on the table in front of her.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I’ll pay it back when I can.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      No, honey, it’s just-- Freaking airports,
                                                      they hold the goddamn food for ransom!

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (to ANN)
                                                      So that’ll be all right?

                                                                        ANN
                                                      I don’t know.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Well, do what you think is good.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      What’s good? You think you know?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, no. I couldn’t tell ya.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Tell me.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, no, no, no.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Please.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Just keep trying things til
                                                      you know you doing the best you
                                                      can with your life. With your life. And that’s it.

A long pause, all of them pondering.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      So the best I can do is live in your
                                                      garage?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      No. Good place to stow away til
                                                      you figure it out, maybe.
                                                                                         
                                                                        ANN
                                                      Stow away?... You’re really offering
                                                      me a place to stay?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Yes, ma’am.

                                                                        ANN
                                                                        (beat/smiles)
                                                      Damn, they need to bronze you.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, yeah?
                                                                       
                                                                        ANN
                                                      Thank you.
                                                     
                                                                        DICK
                                                      You might want to take that to go...
                                                      The police.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oh, uh-huh. Let’s go.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Aren’t you flying somewhere?

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (beat/smiles)
                                                      No, ma’am. I trust the mail.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      Here’s the seventy-five bucks in
                                                      case, you know, later....

                                                                                          DICK
                                                      Why don’t you keep that for your trip.
                                                      I’ve got some money I can give her.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Look, thank you, but I’m not like
                                                      some homeless transient.
                                                                        (beat, off their looks)
                                                      Well, I guess I am, but you don’t
                                                      have to do all that.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      It’d do my heart good if you took it.
                                                      Really.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      You gonna need to sorta hide behind
                                                      me as we walk.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Won’t that look suspicious?

                                                                        DICK
                                                                        (rises)
                                                      I’ll walk in front.

                                                                        TIM
                                                                        (rises)
                                                      Your flight’s boarding.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      I’m not going back to Buffalo. It’s
                                                      freezing rain today. I figure I’ll
                                                      head up to Dyersburg.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Look, I don’t want to screw up your plans.

                                                                        DICK
                                                      No, this is something I need to do.
                                                                        (reaches back to rub his own back)
                                                      I’ve got ancestors buried there.
                                               Can’t put it off forever.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      We’ll walk you out, then I can come back.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      Lord, I don’t understand this.
                                                      I just don’t understand why
                                                      you’re doing this.
                                                                        (pause/the men don’t know how to respond)
                                                      But I ain’t gonna give ya time to think
                                                      about it. Let’s go.

                                                                        JOE
                                                                        (to Dick)
                                                      Mister, you want your letters?

                                                                        DICK
                                                      Oh, Christ, yeah, I do.
                                                                        (retrieves and pockets letters)
                                                      Thank you.
                                                                       
                                                                        ANN
                                                      Now, if they catch us, y’all just walk away.

                                                                        JOE
                                                      No, we’ll make it.

                                                                        TIM
                                                      We’re in Oz.

                                                                        ANN
                                                      What?

                                                                        JOE
                                                      Oz. We get there. We get there just fine.

The three men huddle, concealing and protecting Ann. As they nod that they are ready, the lights fade on their frozen tableau. Then blackout. End of Play.

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